Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Send help, water and tortillas.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
