wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
