Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize