handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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