You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
