My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
so much tequila, so little girl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
