God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
