Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
