Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
