the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize