Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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