it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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