I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
