is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
