Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
