a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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