4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
