Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
