I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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