on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
