So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
