Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
