idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
