Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
