...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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