the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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