It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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