Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
