Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want nice things and good sex
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
