Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
