matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
