i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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