he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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