i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
