we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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