We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
