I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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