You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
