Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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