I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
