I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My dick has a subreddit
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
