We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
