Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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