Dual....:-)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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