well I can't set my house on fire every night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just pee around me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
