giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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