I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
