you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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