I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to calm my uterus...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
