Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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