So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
