i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
