THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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