I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
