Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
