i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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