I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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