It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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