I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
