worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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