I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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